Detach with love?”
Are the words 'detach with love' anywhere in the Big Book. I keep reading it and cannot find them. This is what AA members are advised to do when a person relapses in my area. They say it comes from the Big Book
The phrase summarizes a central idea of Al-Anon and can be found in that fellowship's literature.
The phrase "detach with love" can't be found in the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous. The word "love" shows up 23 times; "detach" does not appear in the Big Book.
The concept "detach with love" does not seem consistent with the Big Book. For example the story about Jim, the car salesman known for putting whiskey in his milk, shows love and tolerance:
Page 35: "Our first example is a friend we shall call Jim. This man has a charming wife and family. He inherited a lucrative automobile agency... On leaving the asylum he came into contact with us.
35:3 We told him what we knew of alcoholism and the answer we had found. He made a beginning. His family was re-assembled, and he began to work as a salesman for the business he had lost through drinking. All went well for a time, but he failed to enlarge his spiritual life. To his consternation, he found himself drunk half a dozen times in rapid succession. On each of these occasions we worked with him, reviewing carefully what had happened.
He agreed he was a real alcoholic and in a serious condition. He knew he faced another trip to the asylum if he kept on. Moreover, he would lose his family for whom he had a deep affection.
36:1 Yet he got drunk again. We asked him to tell us exactly how it happened."